A teaser from the upcoming new book: "The Monochrome World of Matthew Ziegler"...
“Life’s not about the destination, my
darling Matthew, it’s all about the journey.”
Matthew Ziegler was fifteen years old
when his maternal grandfather, Lou, sat him down on the corner of his bed one
Saturday afternoon to talk to him ‘man to man’. It wasn’t the first time this
had happened, but this time it somehow felt more serious. Matt took comfort though, as he always did
from the familiar scent of tobacco, liquorice and rum that always accompanied
his grandfather. The old man had grown noticeably frail in recent months and
Matt had spotted that some of his renowned standards were being allowed to
slip; the shave wasn’t as close as it used to be, the collar on his shirt a
little frayed, the tie a little stained. With the benefit of hindsight, though,
Matt would one day realise that this conversation had been Lou’s way of
imparting whatever little wisdom he could as he approached the end of his life.
They sat, side by side, the old man’s arm resting tenderly around his
grandson’s shoulders, now of similar height but very different frames.
“After all the destination for all of
us is ultimately the same. And you need to really live your life – really live it - before they put you in
your box. What are really important are the experiences you will have, the
places you will go and the people you will meet. Good or bad these will shape
you into the person you will become.
But be sure you, Matthew, that you
take the time to understand the importance of each experience. Take your time;
consciously ask yourself what you can learn from each event. Challenge yourself to understand every
experience. Whatever it is, whether good or bad, find closure at the end of it.
Don’t leave anything open ended, no loose ends untied, because if you do they
will have a habit of coming back when you least expect them and demanding your
attention again. And when they do, they may take on an importance way beyond their
reality at the time. They could gnaw away at you and come together to drag you
down and sap your energy. Whilst each, in their own right, may not be that
significant, the whole will almost certainly be more powerful and more
devastating than the sum of their parts.”
Matthew didn’t really understand but
he nodded anyway. He sensed it was important to his grandfather to pass this
guidance on; in fact, more important for his grandfather to pass it on than for
him to receive it. At least that’s what he thought at the time.
“You know, Matthew, life can be a
wonderful thing. People will be only too ready as you get older to give you all
manner of advice. You must work out for yourself what to accept and act upon
and what to disregard. But most of all you must live your life for yourself.
People will always tell you that you should live your life for those around
you; for your wife, one day, and your children. But I’m telling you that you
should first and foremost live your life for yourself. If you do, and you are
happy, everything else will slot into place; if not, you will always feel
unfulfilled and unhappy. And that’s a very sorry way to go through life. It’s a
cliché but you only get one life; best make it a good one because, believe me,
it goes by very quickly.”
Matt was probably too young to pick up
on the element of the confessional in his grandfather’s advice but he listened
intently and tried to lock the old man’s words, even the sound of his voice,
into his mind for future recall.
“But how do you do that?” Lou went on,
squeezing his bony hand on the back of Matthew’s neck. “Well, the key to living
a happy life, I have always thought, is to really get to know yourself before
you get to know other people. Be the type of person that you would like to
spend time with. Forgive yourself any traits you don’t find appealing, because
nobody is perfect. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect. Cut yourself some
slack, from time to time. We all have to. Don’t be too hard on yourself but
above all like yourself; really, like yourself. Only when you are older will
you realise just how important that is.
And one more thing, man to man.”
Matt looked directly into his
grandfather’s mischievous eyes.
“Don’t ever tell your mother or your
grandmother I told you this. You promise?”
They locked little fingers, as they
always had done, to signify Matt’s promise.
“Make sure you have as much sex as you
possibly can.”
The old man laughed a deep laugh and
pulled his outraged grandson closer to him, kissing him on the forehead. Matt
smiled inwardly.
One week later Matthew Ziegler’s
grandfather died peacefully in his sleep.
